I was told about a brilliant subject on News24 last week - about the reaction modern day dolls can have on unsuspecting grownups between 20 and 40. My age group. In this particular case a "modern" girl was instructed to buy a "modern" doll for her godchild. Oh the shock and horror..!!! she exclaimed.
I had the same sort of nightmarish privilege of setting eyes on a BRAT-doll recently. This happened during a recent visit to my 4-year old darling fairy godchild. Unfortunately I can't say it was a pleasure looking into the scary BRAT-eyes of a sluttish chic with hair as wild as Tarzan's apes. Actually, I nearly had an ape when darling Alysha brought the whole katooti of BRAT out of a box - the proverbial Pandora’s Box. I stared back at these creatures with their cosmetically botoxed-perlaned-sucked whatever anatomies and got really scared.
And I would very much like to pour a bucket of ice over the people who sell such pompous and brainless rubbish to kids these days. What happened to the long-legged one’s that we used to play with? In fact, the latest ones makes Barbie look quite timid and rather nun-ish...
It took the greatest effort of willpower over disgust not to scream but screw my eyes to slits and force a note of interest over horror onto my feeling-like-plaster face. I forced my quivering tight-lipped-mouth to move eventually, saying the right thing or what was expected of me to say: "Oh! Wow, A-aren't they so very...pretty?"
It took even greater willpower not to start pulling the hair out or make sure those voluptuous bodies with tits and buttocks weren't for real. Jeeee-bloooooody-helllllll!!! They don't even look like humans, neither space aliens...
Catching the eyes of her mom and other family members, I cast my horror-filled eyes downwards. Just to look up at my godchild’s sucked-in-expectation-lips and her eyes all lit-up as she watched her scared-out-of-her-wits fairy-aged-godmother. I got a grip on myself but needed a stiff scotch actually.
Instead got more of these monster things dumped onto my lap, was asked to play and pretend I'm the one with the jolly philandering slut Angelina Jolie lips. My least favorite actress and if that is what god motherhood is like, and then I take me hat off for each and every one.
Grrrrrr....
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1 comment:
You're right; they have encephalitic heads and huge, slanted alien eyes. The stuff of nightmares. Not that Barbie was much better; the length of her legs set standards no real person could ever live up to. No, give me Duplo men any day; bathproof, painted on hair, and with age all their facial features merge into a blur. Just like us, really.
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