Someone wrote something that sparked my complete attention this morning. It was about those who we have loved once, many or even a few moons ago. Some rather vivid memories made me sit straight up and think, not about my job at work, but about the undeniable truths, songs and repercussions of falling in real undying love.
Emotions are strange things, nostalgia even more sinister so and the heart a dark-dark book full of secret pages - a bit like a labyrinth where one can get really lost if not watching your step.
Once I loved someone so much that it broke my heart. Can't be good years later, for the poor old heart!!! This dates back more than 11 years and I still remember the feeling of falling for this guy with those dark amber eyes and straight darkest of hair.
You realize this when you sit alone in a park in pouring rain, squashed in a children's swing, crying as if the world's survival depends on it. I would not mind seeing him again, but perhaps only one day in the distant future when we both walk with Zimmer frames.
I was young, receptive and vulnerable and our paths separated for a reason - I think it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to happen. Although it took me a long time to realize this, it gave me the chance to travel, learn my own strengths, and be happy in my own company and to get to know different types of guys. Unlike him who got married very young with a previous ex-girlfriend, had kids and opted not to travel. Oh I guess both worlds can be good, depends what you make of it...
Wouldn't mind that smitten walking on air feeling again though...
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2 comments:
There's no feeling like it, is there? Takes your breath away. Good post. I hope the sitting in the park was then, not now.
Not now, long ago. The kind of feeling that makes one write poetry - actually you said that once! Thanks for your comment.
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