Friday, October 17, 2008

MagicWorldTest

I completed The MagicWorldTest and who doesn't like those nice and complimentary me-that-tests? Turns out, fancying roses, the smell of grass and woods makes me the “Grass Fragrance Type”.

No problem, but which TYPE of grass...??? The test doesn't say.

And so a friend told me that he passed the test in the category "Oriental-Flavour-Type".

Hmmm. One little problem...

Apart from turning him into something bright, spicy, colorful and much more interesting than my meek and mild simple grass flavor, I'll tell you why I don't think he completed the test with integrity and honesty. Because he is a German who lives in Germany and works at a German company and speaks, eat and well...do e-rm...German things.

So, such bollocks I haven’t heard for a while. Compare it to turning a snowman into a sand pillar. How does oriental actually sit in the pants of a Germanic - any clues? I have no idea myself. It makes me think of saying something ridiculous such as calling the Arabian Desert, Hong-Kong and Greenland identical triplets. Freak accidents can happen, we know that, but most are impossible right from the start.

Immm-poss-sible.

A German-Oriental type - for that one would have to go to the extreme corners of the earth collecting sand and pouring a shipload ton of it with Thai Cambodians over the German borders before one would blearily see anything remotely close to German-Oriental...

Taking into consideration certain character traits of this particular German-Oriental-friend, I come to the conclusion that it isn’t impossible that he may be of an unknown ominous Arab descendant line. A wild streaked Bin Laden bearded scaremonger with bright blue eyes, a frolicking type who eats tortoise shells, slither throats, ransacks, accumulates and seduces - with harems full of bad woman and good wine...

I can almost understand how Hitler got slightly derailed after a taste of the Eastern Borders...

And am almost certain my dear German-Oriental friend will forgive me this little trespassing piece of pleasure on a long warm Friday afternoon; he did say he loves it when I am so truly honest to myself and a darling sweet thing...

2 comments:

Skyraxus said...

Indeed, exotic-Germans – What an absurd idea! Outright un-think-able!
Doesn’t the whole world know that Germany is inhabited by tall, blond, nationwide uniform humans with square jaws and bright blue eyes? In this isolated, little country people never have heard of any other foods than Eisbein and Schweinsbraten and only the most maladjusted dare-devils put currysauce on their daily sausage.
No question, the closest Germans will ever make it to the spicy, bright and colorful side of life is if their hypothermic humor will cause the Bosporus to freeze over one day. One has to understand, the closest association a German would have with the word “passionate” would most likely be the traditional Christian conservative passion-play association in Oberammergau.

Absolutely right, how could oriental ever sit in Germanic pants? Never! Inside German leather shorts order and discipline rule, steadiness and Teutonic thoroughness (Jawohl!) no little, sneaky, wheely-deally, unsound, oriental snaking-business there.

I would really like to discuss this subject in detail but as the meek and down-to-earth grass-fragrance type, I will avert my bright-blue German eyes and now go to dance the Schuhplattler.

Extra Virgin said...

Ouch! But I like Eisbein too, and just maybe in your case the Italians beat the Cambodians to the borders?