Thursday, January 15, 2009

Men & Milk

A conversation around a rekindled barbeque fire at 04h00 in the morning, tuned me into a curios listener (for once). Men and buying milk are a synonym when it comes to relationships.

Now we’re onto something! I thought as a light drizzle turned into tiny droplets sparkling from the nearby lemon tree. I was guided into the world of dark and luminescent relationships. Told about the current trend of sex-in-the-city of London and given a glimpse of how life and dating work for the single, between 30 - 55 sometimes erratic, realistic and straight forward male of our day and age.

The ‘right man’ has become exclusive goods these days. That we women know, but...

Girls-girls, some guys are actually completely empathetic towards one of society’s biggest ever niggles! The grossly over-population of the female sex across the world, as opposed to the seemingly diminishing male sex. A thorn in the flesh of most normal women, as this factor stands in direct opposition of the normal, single girl’s fantasy of finding the One. Or be found by the One and Only. The ever-missing link of a perfectly, suitable but elusive entity that right now we all wish is out there searching for us. And not lusting after others. We want the single male mustang to be wandering out there in the wild, hungry and wondering where you and I can be.

And Boy! Is it wild out there… I’m trying to say that this lucky bastard (whoever it eventually will be) doesn’t realize half the time just how lucky he is to be surrounded by so many females. So many to choose from. Complete magnitudes of femme fatale! He knows that he only needs to sail out of his front door to be surrounded by women.

Must be bliss...for them. But no-no, not really. Girls, we like to think we know what men are like, but not entirely so. The reason why I’ve seemingly have gone singularly mad stating this, is jotted down in the lines further down.

Don't hurry just read slowly and take time to ponder the following...

My gorgeous new friend who just happened to get engaged to an apparently lovely Scottish lassie, said things that made the hair on my head stand up on all ends. He agreed with me that it is rather a sad fact that women really don’t have as much choice as men in finding a partner. If one looks into shops, pubs, train terminals and all, one will always find a bloke’s eyes roving over bunches of girls. Some obviously may seem more greedily than others...

A meeting place is arranged. The week after it is with a different individual…and a month later he had seen a dozen different women and can't remember half the names. Men have a big choice in the selection of woman they want to go out with. At the drop of a hat or condom, lover can get cold feet, and as he run away, bump into the next chic. It almost works like an easy refund when one gets something similar in the next knocking a new pair of legs or bum off their feet.

The only consolation I find in knowing this terrible truth is that our male buddies may have a problem at hand, what with all the choices laid on a tray before them.

My mouth went dry with the shock when as good confessing how the male psyche works, he told me some serious stuff:

Finding the right woman amongst thousands of her own species, is tough on a man. Women are wrong to think men are spoilt for the picking, choosing and disposing. Women ought to drop every notion of envy. Let go of any prejudiced thoughts towards the choices men face these days. Kick out any wrong conclusion about what goes on in men's heads, because the male fantasy in reality amounts to the dreadful example of shopping for milk.

Yes, milk.

Skimmed Milk, Full Cream Milk, 2 % Fat Milk, Goats Milk, Soya Milk, sterilized milk, homogenized, soft curd, flavoured milk, acidophilus, kefir, reconstituted, recombined, toned and double-, carrot…double-toned milk, Reconstituted /Rehydrated Milk, fermented Milk...and so much more varieties of...just... milk!

He said that different types of milk and the choice of partners have something in common – they share a deeply structured recipe. Choice.

It’s daunting. It’s hard and difficult. It’s ridiculous, but a simple outing such as buying milk can quickly turn into an extremely foul-tasting and curd experience. An example to understand what I’m getting at is that one can read the label wrong and go for the completely wrong carton. Or simply not find the right one amongst a confusing stack of other cartons. Or blindly choose one just to discover it is soy milk and tastes awful in coffee. Or the 2 % low fat hardly makes any difference and makes coffee look like sick…

So, as much as I like the Pink Floyd song “We don’t need education”, it may be time to let go off the stagnated view of men getting it all… They may seem to be having a lot more choice than we do, yes. Sometimes they seem to be the proverbial cat that got the cream and the butter. But it happens often that a man can walk out of the shop with a teething tiger in the bag.

Next time, I see a decent looking guy standing around the milk lorry and looking confused, I may just offer some assistance in the big choice he has to make…

1 comment:

Brother Tobias said...

Hmm. It may be like that for mustangs, but it never felt that way to us ordinary mules. All the girls already had men (mustangs presumably). Or if they didn't, they were dancing round their handbags with their girl friends and seemed keen to stay that way. Far easier to buy a beer; it usually made you feel better about yourself, and seldom rejected you until the end of the evening.